Below is a cut paste section from a book which unfortunately is no longer online.
“Gurbani describes the merging of the jeevatma with the Lord as a marriage. For this marriage the go-between is the guru and the holy congregation – sat sangat – is the janj – the groom’s party. Guru Ram Das mentions this in the following two quotes. In the first, the bride says, “Oh father – baabla – by seeking the guru’s saran I have been wedded. I have attained the Lord. In the second quote it is said that the Lord is the one who planned the wedding – kaaj racaea, and the sat sang comprised the janj / jany.
Viahu hoa mayray baabla gurmukhay Har paea. P.78
ਵੀਆਹੁ ਹੋਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਗੁਰਮੁਖੇ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ॥
Har Har kaaj racaea poorai mel sant jana janj / jany a-ee. P.575
ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ਪੂਰੈ ਮਿਲਿ ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਜੰਞ ਆਈ ॥
Guru Arjan Dev says that by taking part in saadh sangat, arrangements for the jeev estari to meet and be united with the Lord are made. The sant jan meet in saadh sangat and sing the praises of the Lord. The jeev estari, who wholeheartedly takes part in this sublime activity, qualifies herself / himself for union with the Lord, helped by the sant jan who make up the strange janj – acaraj janj. When the sat sangis get together and start singing the praises of the Lord wholeheartedly, the saaha – right time for this wedding, is deemed to have been fixed. The saaha is regarded as atal i.e. the time cannot be changed. When the jeevatma links up with the Parm Aatma and becomes one with the latter, the wedding – viahu – is considered to have taken place.Thus the Pooran Prabhu, the Prabhu who is perfect in every sense, links up with the jeevatma. This is referred to as pooran sanjogo / sanjog.
Saaha atal ganea pooran sanjogo Ram. ……… Mel sant aa-ay Prabh dhea-ay banay acaraj jaanyia(n). P.845
ਸਾਹਾ ਅਟਲੁ ਗਣਿਆ ਪੂਰਨ ਸੰਜੋਗੋ ਰਾਮ ………ਮਿਲਿ ਸੰਤ ਆਏ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਧਿਆਏ ਬਣੇ ਅਚਰਜ ਜਾਞੀਆਂ ॥
The relationship between the human being and the Lord is referred to as dhan per. We are all, irrespective of gender, described as dhan or jeev estaris, estari meaning wife. The Lord is described as per or Prabhu pati – Prabhu husband. As husband He is also referred to as khasm or sahu / seh. Guru Nanak Dev refers to the young jeev estari, who is ignorant and inexperienced as baalri. Guru Ji says, “ Oh baalri-ay, when you acquire the groom – var – all the desires of the mind get fulfilled – aasa mansa poori.”
Var paera baalri-ay aasa mansa poori Ram P.765
ਵਰੁ ਪਾਇਅੜਾ ਬਾਲੜੀਏ ਆਸਾ ਮਨਸਾ ਪੂਰੀ ਰਾਮ ॥
Guru Amar Das points out that if the baalri jeev estari wishes that the husband be with him / her, one has to keep the guru in mind by loving Him – carni cet laa-ay.
Jay loreh var baalri-ay ta(n) gur carni cet laa-ay Ram. P.771
ਜੇ ਲੋੜਹਿ ਵਰੁ ਬਾਲੜੀਏ ਤਾ ਗੁਰ ਚਰਣੀ ਚਿਤੁ ਲਾਏ ਰਾਮ ॥
In ordinary life the word suhaagan is used for the lady who enjoys matrimonial bliss as a result of her husband being alive. The opposite is duhaagan – a widow. Sometimes the husband, for some reason or other, may not care for the wife, or might ill-treat her, or might even prefer to be away from her. Such a lady is also referred to as a duhaagan , even though the husband is alive. In Gurbani both these words, suhaagan and duhaagan are used for the jeev estari. But the word duhaagan in Gurbani conveys the latter meaning given above, i.e. when the Prabhu Pati fails to accept the jeev estari because of the latter’s lack of love for Him.
Guru Amar Das states that one cannot acquire suhaag / sohaag without the guru – ben satgur sohaag na hoi. In no age, be it any of the four jug, has a jeev estari been able to attain sohaag without the guru, however much one keeps on trying for any length of time – jug caaray dhan jay bhavai.
Jug caaray dhan jay bhavai ben satgur sohaag na hoi Ram. P.769
ਜੁਗ ਚਾਰੇ ਧਨ ਜੇ ਭਵੈ ਬਿਨੁ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸੋਹਾਗੁ ਨ ਹੋਈ ਰਾਮ ॥
Guru Ji says that one is always a suhaagan – sada suhaagan – if one serves the guru i.e. never forgets the teachings of the guru. In this way one always remains in the lap – ank – of the guru. It should be noted that love for the guru implies love for the Lord.
Sada suhaagan ja(n) satgur sayvay Gur kai ank sma-ee-ai. P.244
ਸਦਾ ਸੁਹਾਗਣਿ ਜਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵੇ ਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਅੰਕਿ ਸਮਾਈਐ ॥